Something 'bout Fifty

 

I was thinking...maybe I should give my first book review considering I haven't done one yet and I really need to. To get my thoughts out there. You should know that it takes me about 1-3 days to get through a 100-400 page book so I'll try to get in as many as I can as soon as I finish one or finish a series. You can just read my word vomit on raving about every book I read (Good or Bad) and you can leave comments or message me, and we can toss our opinions and ideas in the air.

 

I figured I'd start with the Fifty Shades Trilogy. I just finished Fifty Shades Freed so I can finally let out a long held breath and spew a few words. I LOVED IT. I know you guys are all thinking

 It made me laugh, cry, smile, cringe, toss and turn. E.L. James is an amazing author. The way she wrote it, made Anastasia seem real. Therefore, Christian Grey is real. (Except he's not. Nobody's that perfect. I wish.) I hadn't expected it to be so captivating but I really couldn't put any of them down. It took me a really long time to actually get into the first book, it took about 3 months for me to actually get into it, by taking the time to lock myself in my room and physically read it just because I couldn't get past chapter 3 without feeling conflicted. I didn't understand what all the rave was about but I had to get a look for myself. Everyone was saying "Oh it's so bad! It's just a dirty pornographic Twilight Fan fiction, Don't read it. You'll hate it!" and others saying "Holy cheese balls! This book is the shit! It's so amazing! You Have to read it!" I was so tired of all the positive and negative publicity I wanted to read it myself.

 

 To be honest, I had no idea what it was about. REALLY about at first, I knew about the sex. But, I had no idea about the S&M and the actual story of a young woman falling love with a drool worthy philanthropic CEO. I had a hard time trying to get a feel for this strange, but intriguing man. He seemed so serious, and bossy and just plain cruel at first. All he wanted Ana for, was to be her Dom and I couldn't get past the fact that she was actually considering getting into this strictly no feelings (or touching... *cough-or lovemaking-cough*) relationship. I love a good book with ROMANCE. Hearts and Flowers and all. The vanilla relationship. No 'kinky fuckery'. (Boy, have my opinions on sex changed.) He just seemed so distant and literally wanted one thing from fragile little Ana. I felt connected to Ana on so many levels and I mean, the way her brain is wired, is exactly how mine is, so it really hurt when she was hurt emotionally. I think it really caught my attention around the middle of the book where Christian seemed to show in interest in her. I mean, really seemed to like her for more than just sex. I started getting lost in it as they both slowly fell for each other. What can I say, I'm a big fat sucker for romance. Christian especially. His feelings for her were overwhelming and he really truly loved her.

 He just gave her these looks full of so much emotion and it made my heart burst with joy.   It was so romantic. I think I was hooked that first time he stayed with Ana after she cried her heart out because he had spanked her earlier that day and he held her. It was just... shocking to see how different and instantly compassionate he could be with her. It was a side I hadn't seen yet and I wanted to know more. After that, I averted at anything that made me put the book down, such as my bladder. And I was like "F U bladder."
 

 Then there was my parents. I avoided them a lot. Sometimes they would come in and I would throw it across the room and act casual like
My younger cousin (age:12) caught me reading it and I was like
  

 I actually bought the trilogy on my nook so that was a plus side to being able to hide it. I wish I didn't have to but it just had so much bad publicity about it being just raunchy sex, period that I had to evade everyone when reading it.
 It really wasn't. It was a love story dammit, and I fell in love with it. With the characters, with the comedy, with all of it. The thing is, I couldn't grasp on the legit just 'fucking' in the beginning of the book but later on, into the second book, when Christian and Ana admit they have feelings for each other they begin to physically make love, and it was just so passionate. Of course, both Ana and Christian had horny episodes of literally wanting the hard core shit but it was done in a slightly affectionate manner.

 

 

Especially when Christian let Ana eventually touch him when no one else had in that way.

Let's see...what else is there...
 

 
SPOILER ALERT!!! STOP NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT YET AND ARE INTERESTED IN DOING SO.  When they were engaged, then later married, It was all the better and just full on romance
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And Ana's subconscious and her inner goddess, HOLY CRAP I can't even explain how much I adore those kinky gals. They were just so funny and added so much humor I loved it even more.

 They're going to make us wait forever to hear the cast chosen for the movie huh? *Sigh* I'll just lie here and melt away.


Let's just say it took me 3 months (Technically 2 days after I got into it) to read Grey, 1 day to read Darker and 2 days (I had such a hard time getting back on track after he yelled at Ana for getting pregnant... that KILLED me. .. So I took a breather between those 2 days. I think I lost a few years of my life, fearing for their relationship) to read Freed.

 

 And Christian is just so strange and bipolar and intoxicating but such a developed character that I felt really came to life along with Ana, but that's just because he's like:

 

 One last thing- I will NEVER EVER be able to listen to Mrs. Robinson without cracking up and smiling to myself at the small reminder of this wonderful trilogy. (Thanks to Elena, the bitch troll)


Have a great day buttholes! Please give this book a try and I'm sure you won't regret it. Please be at least 16 though! (Preferably 17-18) I don't want any angry mothers contacting me about their child reading a naughty book. Thank you!

  

Okay stop staring, weirdo's.

I also might cry if Matt Bomer isn't Christian, and Emilia Clarke or anyone equally fitting to play Ana, that's all I gots ta say. I'll get drunk and cry myself to sleep like so. (But I don't drink so don't get any ideas)

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Kirsten Bird Signing off.